Sunday, September 19, 2010

Commuting a shorter distance...

At least, from Denver to Sterling.  I will be in a few days, when I go down to start work.  Little girl has grown up  in the last couple months I've been gone, going from semi-baby to OMG, a tiny, opinionated, sassy little...girl.  She loves Monsters Inc, and her books, she loves to crawl into any available lap, she's prone to big grins, giggles and running.

And she's also totally obsessed with her shoes!  Her Daddy and I went and got her a new pair of sneakers, since she's rapidly outgrown em and needs shoes to play outside.  So we got her a spiffy pair (pics to follow) and she LOVES THEM.  She brings them over to me and tries to undo the velcro so I can put them on her feet...and she spent time walking around in our guests' size 11 sneakers, LOL, much to everyone's amusement.

Surprisingly, or not, she actually managed to take a few steps in those gigantic shoes...she's a strong little girl, and every tumble she takes she looks up with a grin on her face.  She's a happy, happy little girl, though today she had a bad day.  She's been getting over a head cold, and she's got an upset tummy from her first adventure with a peanut butter sandwich (sadly, mine, that she got ahold of and ate half of before I could get it away from her.)  We shall say that A. she's not allergic to peanuts.  B. she loves peanut butter sammich and C. peanut butter sammich does not agree with tiny girl digestive tract.

Child eats anything and EVERYTHING.  I have seriously yet to see her turn down anything offered, though her Daddy tells me if she's not hungry or done eating or really doesn't like something, Miss Katie the Corgi (who lurks outside the edges of the kitchen like a furry little vulture) gets it.  So far, the only propensity the guys tell me is normal is her wanting...whatever you're eating.  Even if what you give her is what everyone is eating, she still wants to eat off YOUR plate.

I don't mind.  I didn't even really mind that she ate my breakfast this morning.  Her Daddy made me an omelet (he's such a NICE guy!) and I sat down next to little girl's highchair and watched her eat her cheerios and milk.  Except I went to take a bite and...cue the big brown soulful gaze, the slightly open mouth and the "but I'm hungry too!" stare.

I last about two bites.  Then I cave.  And she proceeds to eat...the ENTIRE OMELET.  It was a two egg, cheese deal.  But eat it she did, gleefully.  And then she ate the rest of her cheerios, drank half her cup of milk, and wanted down to play.  I'm officially on the "I can't turn down my kid" diet.  Where it all goes, I really have no idea.  I mean, little girl is svelte...not bony, but with rolls in all the right places...the docs say she isn't overweight, far from it, she's right on target for 14 months...about 22 lbs.

Her hair is becoming a more determinate shade of brown, with reddish and blond highlights...and it's CURLY.  Long her Daddy has.  I guess she didn't have hair long enough for us to tell before, but it definitely has a curl to it.  She's ADORABLE, a little mop-haired, brown-eyed, cherub of a kid.

Not that that's not totally Mommy pride. :)  

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

The Commuter Mom will commute no more very soon

As of today, I put in notice at work.  I got an offer to go back to Denver proper.  I have been so heartsick lately that I hardly sleep, and when I do, my sleep is riddled with nightmares.

It hasn't gotten better as time has gone most nights I sleep maybe 3 or 4 hours, and make up for it by drinking coffee all the time.  Our financial situation isn't helped by the fact I'm going back, because I'm taking a job at a lesser rate to go back to Colorado at all.  My future employer has been beyond kind, and is providing what help they can to help me get back home.  For that simple act of kindness, they have my loyalty.  They have shown by virtue of doing that they realize I am a human being, with a family...more than an employee number.  

My current employer has been good to me, and I told them flat out if this job were in Colorado I'd stay without hesitation...but the situation with the houses is rapidly getting out of control...if we wind up losing one, the credit hit I will take will make it difficult to find employment, and it will make the ability to sign a lease to rent anywhere impossible.  Denver is the only place we currently own housing, and family and friends are already rallying to help us come back.

I won't say that my experience out here has been bad.  It hasn't, despite the various experiences out here that have convinced me the state of Maryland is out to screw everyone who lives here.  I have made friends who are sad to see me leave, and while I will miss them, the best thing I can do is draw as many lessons from this experience as I can.  Being out here has taught me who I am again...besides a Mommy, I am so many things I let slide in the past few years.  This place has taught me I gave up too much of myself, and though I give up the part of myself that is Mommy gladly and would over again in a second, it has also taught me that I can retain who I am as a person and still be Mommy.

When I go back, the family has plans...and I have personal plans for myself, which are something that got lost in the mix of everything.  Things I forgot, that in the chaos of my life I realized I spent too much time worrying about what might be, what could be...and not enough time realizing I needed to be happy about what I had.  Not having my husband around to lean on, not having little bit to brighten my day...these things are among the most precious of things I could have.  I have realized I am stronger than I thought...worth more than I thought, and that I didn't give myself enough credit.  

I needed to learn who I was again.  And after three months of being alone, out here with my family far away, I finally realize that happiness is where my family and friends are.  It always has been, and somewhere along the line I forgot that.  I won't make that mistake again. 

I will continue this blog, most likely, but it will become more of a generic Mommy blog.  Maybe.  Or maybe I'll take a page from my cousin B's book and .... write a book. ;)  (Congrats on the editor, hun!)