Sunday, June 13, 2010

The wait before the job is hardest...

I heard lil girl on the phone today...when her Daddy let me talk to her, she was silent, listening to my voice...and cried when he took the phone away.  That sort of thing is enough to drive you crazy when you're sitting in a hotel room 1500+ miles away, wishing you were home at the other end of the line versus being the one on the phone.

When the job starts, I hope it will be easier...but right now, every new experience I have I enjoy, with a nagging guilt in the back of my head that I know I'd enjoy it more if my lil girl and husband were there to enjoy it too.

I hope this time goes by much as I enjoy being out in a new city and having a new job (hopefully starting soon) ... it's not home.  And it won't be home until I am with my family again. 

Enough guilt tripping.  I need to figure out a way to let go of that...I know they don't blame me, and I know that ultimately I'm doing what's right for my family...but my heart only knows that it aches in the absence of those I love most.  It's hard to reconcile the two, if not impossible.

So to help alleviate the guilt, I made myself go back to the Metro station and take the train to the Smithsonian.  I figured a day of walking around in sensory overload mode would help drown some of the depression.  All I have to say is, OMG the Air and Space Museum is COOL.  It is a geek's dream, and I must've had people staring at me drooling like an idiot over engine types and space shuttle displays.

I had a closet dream as a kid of being a great scientist or sue me if I wasn't vicariously living it out in my imagination whilst ogling cool exhibits.  I might add that I only saw the first FLOOR of the museum...I was too tired after that first floor plus the Smithsonian Castle plus getting LOST past L'Enfant station that I decided I'd come back to see the upstairs of the Air and Space Museum another day. 

I did pick up my daughter a pretty watercolor painting book about the cherry trees in D.C...I plan on reading it to her over the video link as soon as we have one.  I know she will love it!  I will figure out how to post pics or provide a link to my FB album, whichever one actually works.

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